Theory: Tomlin won't do TV
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TimmayLake
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Theory: Tomlin won't do TV
Everyone is assuming *once* Tomlin retires (which may be several years from now) he will do TV. However, I don't think he will. While he is quite the wordsmith and can turn a phrase, being on TV as an analyst will actually expose his lack of football knowledge. How long can he make a career of spouting meaningless Tomlin-isms?
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He will be on TV. And soon
Tomlin PC 1/11/25 -“Don't blink. If you're a blinker cut your eyelids off"


TimmayLake wrote: ↑Tue Jan 13, 2026 1:14 pmEveryone is assuming *once* Tomlin retires (which may be several years from now) he will do TV. However, I don't think he will. While he is quite the wordsmith and can turn a phrase, being on TV as an analyst will actually expose his lack of football knowledge. How long can he make a career of spouting meaningless Tomlin-isms?
At least 19 years.
They kicked Bill Walsh off the air pretty quickly IIRC.
Which means the coolshades and kiss-blowing douche will be there, he will determine when he leaves, he's just that fuckin good.
"I'm institutionalized, man," he joked. "I gotta have it. I just love the challenges week in and week out that this job provides: the growth in it, the collective growth, the individual growth."
He isn’t a wordsmith. Half of the time his sayings don’t even make sense if you actually stop to think about them. They sound impressive because he is not speaking with a normal cadence. But the substance?
Real question is whether Tomlin knows hr is a fraud or if it is Dunning Kruger.
Real question is whether Tomlin knows hr is a fraud or if it is Dunning Kruger.
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TimmayLake wrote: ↑Tue Jan 13, 2026 1:14 pmEveryone is assuming *once* Tomlin retires (which may be several years from now) he will do TV. However, I don't think he will. While he is quite the wordsmith and can turn a phrase, being on TV as an analyst will actually expose his lack of football knowledge. How long can he make a career of spouting meaningless Tomlin-isms?
Teflon is the epitome of Dunning-Kruger.
He actually believes he’s a genius. 2 decades of the Rooneys, the national and local media and fanbois fellating him has convinced him that he really knows football and his shit doesn’t stink. He prides himself on his “Tomlinisms” and his verbal abilities, so TV is the only logical destination for him if he wants to stay in the spotlight and make a boatload of money. Just think about the deep discussions he could have wiff Ryan Clark.
What I don’t see him doing is going to another team. That will expose him as the coaching simpleton he really is, and he won’t have the woke Rooneys keeping him employed. I think his Canton resume has taken a massive hit, and when people start pulling apart his record and his coaching career, he will have trouble getting in. NHALS is all he really has, and because of his Marvin Lewis playoff ineptitude, it has been rendered a joke. (Yes, he has a ring, but everyone knows he was a mascot and passenger on that team, and LeBeau and Arians ran the show). Barry Switzer isn’t worthy of Canton. Neither is mediocre Mike.
The truth will come out about Tomlin eventually. When he steps away, players will begin to talk openly. Right now, he’s NFL Obama.
Mike Tomlin and NHALS - The embodiment of the soft bigotry of lowered expectations.
Does Tomlin realize that he is ruining his own legacy? Sure, he can be known for NHALS, but that is even becoming a negative on his resume. Now, 9 playoff games without a win has set a new record as well. By the time he uncorks his head, he will own every "bad" record in the NFL a coach can have as well as the NHALS record. From here on out, his suck is the only thing that is going to leave a lasting impression!
Tony Romo has been doing it for several years now lol.TimmayLake wrote: ↑Tue Jan 13, 2026 1:14 pmEveryone is assuming *once* Tomlin retires (which may be several years from now) he will do TV. However, I don't think he will. While he is quite the wordsmith and can turn a phrase, being on TV as an analyst will actually expose his lack of football knowledge. How long can he make a career of spouting meaningless Tomlin-isms?
“Yeah we suck, be there is a chance we could suck slightly more if we try to correct the problem.” - Art Deuce (summarized by SteelPerch)
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TimmayLake
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Romo actually knows Xs and Os thoughjeemie wrote: ↑Tue Jan 13, 2026 3:20 pmTony Romo has been doing it for several years now lol.TimmayLake wrote: ↑Tue Jan 13, 2026 1:14 pmEveryone is assuming *once* Tomlin retires (which may be several years from now) he will do TV. However, I don't think he will. While he is quite the wordsmith and can turn a phrase, being on TV as an analyst will actually expose his lack of football knowledge. How long can he make a career of spouting meaningless Tomlin-isms?
He's become totally insufferable. I wasn't the only one complaining about his BUF/JAX game Sunday.
Apparently the NFL still wants everyone calling games to be John Madden. "You know, usually the team that scores more points wins the game"
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TimmayLake
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In that case Tomlin may have a new job for life
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TV is about BRAND and PERSONALITY, not knowledge.langer wrote: ↑Tue Jan 13, 2026 1:58 pmTimmayLake wrote: ↑Tue Jan 13, 2026 1:14 pmEveryone is assuming *once* Tomlin retires (which may be several years from now) he will do TV. However, I don't think he will. While he is quite the wordsmith and can turn a phrase, being on TV as an analyst will actually expose his lack of football knowledge. How long can he make a career of spouting meaningless Tomlin-isms?
At least 19 years.
They kicked Bill Walsh off the air pretty quickly IIRC.
Which means the coolshades and kiss-blowing douche will be there, he will determine when he leaves, he's just that fuckin good.
“We are the stupidest fucking franchise ever.” — Smithessmokin
Tomlin isn’t lacking football knowledge. I bet he can break down film with the best of them and speak to it as well. He would dazzle on TVTimmayLake wrote: ↑Tue Jan 13, 2026 1:14 pmEveryone is assuming *once* Tomlin retires (which may be several years from now) he will do TV. However, I don't think he will. While he is quite the wordsmith and can turn a phrase, being on TV as an analyst will actually expose his lack of football knowledge. How long can he make a career of spouting meaningless Tomlin-isms?
His problem isn’t that he doesn’t know football. His problem is that he is incredibly stubborn and very lazy. Not lazy in the sense that he doesn’t put in the time. Lazy in the sense that he does the same things over and over while stubbornly believing it’ll work if only it’s executed properly.
He is stubborn and lazy. THAT is his problem.
He’s certainly as smart or smarter than most likely f the chuckleheads on TV. He won’t have a problem there.
TTHNC = This Team Has No Chance
I tune the announcers out.
They aren't worth getting hot and bothered about.
“Yeah we suck, be there is a chance we could suck slightly more if we try to correct the problem.” - Art Deuce (summarized by SteelPerch)
He might be lazy, but what he really is is risk averse.955876 wrote: ↑Tue Jan 13, 2026 5:11 pmTomlin isn’t lacking football knowledge. I bet he can break down film with the best of them and speak to it as well. He would dazzle on TVTimmayLake wrote: ↑Tue Jan 13, 2026 1:14 pmEveryone is assuming *once* Tomlin retires (which may be several years from now) he will do TV. However, I don't think he will. While he is quite the wordsmith and can turn a phrase, being on TV as an analyst will actually expose his lack of football knowledge. How long can he make a career of spouting meaningless Tomlin-isms?
His problem isn’t that he doesn’t know football. His problem is that he is incredibly stubborn and very lazy. Not lazy in the sense that he doesn’t put in the time. Lazy in the sense that he does the same things over and over while stubbornly believing it’ll work if only it’s executed properly.
He is stubborn and lazy. THAT is his problem.
He’s certainly as smart or smarter than most likely f the chuckleheads on TV. He won’t have a problem there.
Every time he speaks, you can see he boils games down to the turnover battle.
That's a clue to me that he thinks most teams are reasonably easily matched and you make the difference by forcing turnovers while minimizing yours.
He wants to win every game 20-17 and keep the risks on offense down to as close to zero as possible.
Hence why the middle of the field isn't used until late in games.
Why his defense is trained to tackle the catch.
His risk aversion hurts us more than whatever willingness to put in work that he lacks.
“Yeah we suck, be there is a chance we could suck slightly more if we try to correct the problem.” - Art Deuce (summarized by SteelPerch)
It's maddening that more people don't get this. He coaches not to lose - 19 years of non-losing seasons and playoff futility are entirely related. Tomlin can't compete in the playoffs because he's not coaching or building a team that can do that. He coaches a high floor that's designed to maximize regular season wins, or rather guarantee a minimum of 8-9 wins and in the playoff hunt.
Tomlin is the uber tight/conservative player at the poker table. He might grind out $5 an hour but he's never going go win big. That's not a good poker player. Playing your cards, rather than the table, as safely and risk-averse as you can is not actually a skill.
Lock Tomlin and Herbstreit in a room together and have them talk while not listening until the heat death of the universe.
"I'm institutionalized, man," he joked. "I gotta have it. I just love the challenges week in and week out that this job provides: the growth in it, the collective growth, the individual growth."
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Steeldrama
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Some TV options for our boy Tomlin
NFL Network= Dick Eisen would surely push the powers that be to hire is boy Tomlin. Mike would enjoy dazzling calf queens Colleen Wolf and Cynthia Freiland with his Tomlinisms.
FOX= Jay Glazer would surely push the powers that be to hire his boy Tomlin. Bradshaw is long overdue to retire or he could just take jabs at Tomlin in person.
NBC= Tony Dungy would surely push the powers that be to hire his boy Tomlin. Dino would quickly get slapped with a lawsuit after calling Maria Taylor an overgrown tranny.
CBS= First thing I do with this woe begone pregame show is fire James Brown and replace him with Kay Adams. Matt Ryan just left to become president of something for my transplant hometown Falcons. Perhaps Cowher and Tomlin can spin yarn about the Iron Cities left in the office fridge or Big Ben crashing into Buicks.
ESPN= First thing I do with this woe begone pregame show is replace Greeny with the lovely Laura Rutledge. Tomlin and sexy Rexy could make for some good coaching banter. Lotta platforms on ESPN. McAfee would love to drop F bombs and talk Kennywood with Coach T. Stephen Asshole and the Mad Dog yelling at Tomlin would be interesting.
Prime= Ohhh Charissa Thompson. NOOO doubt into all things twisted. Not sure who thought it was a good idea to let Tony Gonzalez speak sentences, but there’s an instant vacancy on that brutal pregame set for a cunning linguist like Michael Pettway Tomlin.
Food for thought
(Please MIKE go do TV! I beg of you!)
NFL Network= Dick Eisen would surely push the powers that be to hire is boy Tomlin. Mike would enjoy dazzling calf queens Colleen Wolf and Cynthia Freiland with his Tomlinisms.
FOX= Jay Glazer would surely push the powers that be to hire his boy Tomlin. Bradshaw is long overdue to retire or he could just take jabs at Tomlin in person.
NBC= Tony Dungy would surely push the powers that be to hire his boy Tomlin. Dino would quickly get slapped with a lawsuit after calling Maria Taylor an overgrown tranny.
CBS= First thing I do with this woe begone pregame show is fire James Brown and replace him with Kay Adams. Matt Ryan just left to become president of something for my transplant hometown Falcons. Perhaps Cowher and Tomlin can spin yarn about the Iron Cities left in the office fridge or Big Ben crashing into Buicks.
ESPN= First thing I do with this woe begone pregame show is replace Greeny with the lovely Laura Rutledge. Tomlin and sexy Rexy could make for some good coaching banter. Lotta platforms on ESPN. McAfee would love to drop F bombs and talk Kennywood with Coach T. Stephen Asshole and the Mad Dog yelling at Tomlin would be interesting.
Prime= Ohhh Charissa Thompson. NOOO doubt into all things twisted. Not sure who thought it was a good idea to let Tony Gonzalez speak sentences, but there’s an instant vacancy on that brutal pregame set for a cunning linguist like Michael Pettway Tomlin.
Food for thought
(Please MIKE go do TV! I beg of you!)
Nick Markakis on Astros: "Every guy over there needs a beating."
Certainly. Totally agree and I shouldn’t have left that out (his risk aversion) as it’s key.jeemie wrote: ↑Tue Jan 13, 2026 5:36 pmHe might be lazy, but what he really is is risk averse.955876 wrote: ↑Tue Jan 13, 2026 5:11 pmTomlin isn’t lacking football knowledge. I bet he can break down film with the best of them and speak to it as well. He would dazzle on TVTimmayLake wrote: ↑Tue Jan 13, 2026 1:14 pmEveryone is assuming *once* Tomlin retires (which may be several years from now) he will do TV. However, I don't think he will. While he is quite the wordsmith and can turn a phrase, being on TV as an analyst will actually expose his lack of football knowledge. How long can he make a career of spouting meaningless Tomlin-isms?
His problem isn’t that he doesn’t know football. His problem is that he is incredibly stubborn and very lazy. Not lazy in the sense that he doesn’t put in the time. Lazy in the sense that he does the same things over and over while stubbornly believing it’ll work if only it’s executed properly.
He is stubborn and lazy. THAT is his problem.
He’s certainly as smart or smarter than most likely f the chuckleheads on TV. He won’t have a problem there.
Every time he speaks, you can see he boils games down to the turnover battle.
That's a clue to me that he thinks most teams are reasonably easily matched and you make the difference by forcing turnovers while minimizing yours.
He wants to win every game 20-17 and keep the risks on offense down to as close to zero as possible.
Hence why the middle of the field isn't used until late in games.
Why his defense is trained to tackle the catch.
His risk aversion hurts us more than whatever willingness to put in work that he lacks.
TTHNC = This Team Has No Chance
Tomlin and Stephen A Smith's egos and clever catchphrases together in the same studio might actually spawn a whole nother human being, or set off a chain reaction that would implode the universe.
Nothing left to do but smile, smile, smile...
i have said this before -- his schtick wont work long term in front of a camera and I dont see him agreeing ala Gronk et al to be a full on ClownTimmayLake wrote: ↑Tue Jan 13, 2026 1:14 pmEveryone is assuming *once* Tomlin retires (which may be several years from now) he will do TV. However, I don't think he will. While he is quite the wordsmith and can turn a phrase, being on TV as an analyst will actually expose his lack of football knowledge. How long can he make a career of spouting meaningless Tomlin-isms?
